What a week.
My health, both physically and emotionally, has been up and down.
Saturday my close friend Christie made me get out of the house for something other than a doctor appointment. She picked me up and took me out for a pedicure, and then we took a short trip to the mall. I hadn't really wanted to go - when you are feeling down leaving the house is such an effort. But I'm so thankful for her persistence, I had a great time with her and appreciate not having to do my own toes!
The rest of the day was hard with some mail that I received and emotions that were unexpected and finally the Big Cry on Saturday night. It didn't even feel good to finally have the Big Cry, just tiring.
Sunday I was down, had my last stomach shot, but at least my Giants won. Monday was my lowest point to date. I had to go to Kaiser for unexpected blood work to see how the Neupogen shots were doing, I felt tired, and several things happened to put me over the emotional edge. Another Big Cry along with a Big Prayer.
Tuesday I got a call from Kaiser saying that the shots hadn't worked as well as they'd hoped and I'd need to do one more. From now on, six shots after each chemo. I pulled my lab results and saw that my neutrophils and lymphocytes counts were low. Didn't know I had so many different kinds of white blood cells and that they are so important. I had a little headache that got better while visiting with my good friend and neighbor Sherri. Then I had a visit from a dear woman who just came back into my life from many years ago when our kids were in elementary school and Girl Scouts together. Claudia shared her testimony with me, encouraged me, prayed over me, and left me with a home-cooked meal. Such a blessing. The events of the weekend and Monday were worked out, and I went to sleep, even after another shot, with some peace in my heart.
Wednesday I woke up with another headache but thought it would get better with a nice dog walk around the neighborhood. I now wear gloves on our walks in case I accidentally miss the bag when I'm picking up the poop. It was a cooler morning, and we didn't go that fast, but when we got home I was spent. My headache was bad and I felt exhausted and even a bit queasy. I put Darlene on notice that it might not be a good day for a visit and I took Tylenol and rested for awhile until I felt a little better. Supposedly days 7 through 10 after chemo are when I am at my highest risk of infection because they are the lowest days for my white blood counts. They must be my most exhausting days, too. It's so strange to think that I was a reasonably healthy person and now can't even walk around the neighborhood like I used to.
I gave Darlene the ok to come over and she arrived with lots of treats - a PSL (if you don't know what that is, it's the most delicious sign of fall there is! Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks!!), some pumpkin biscotti and a pumpkin Greek yogurt from Trader Joes, and a deliciously scented gift from The Body Shop. So very thoughtful! We had a nice chat, and after she left, Penny dropped by with my hats. I tried them all on - SO CUTE! Of course they look different now than they will when I'm bald, but that doesn't change the fact that they are cute! I am grateful for all of these thoughtful, generous, caring friends.
I was really tired yesterday and ready for an early bedtime. I called Maddie onto my bed and was giving her a nice scratching when I discovered something on her head...A TICK! Well so much for an early bedtime. I put flea and tick meds on the dogs (with gloves), washed my sheets, comforter, and the dog bed covers, put their beds outside, vacuumed my room, and checked both dogs (with gloves) for ticks. Thank goodness I didn't find any more, and the one I did find hadn't yet started feasting on Maddie. Ay.
Today my shower tape was a fail. It's just not sticking well on my neck. My medical appointment was at the Corona Kaiser with a new gynocologist to check on the fibroid that was found with my CT scan. Nothing to worry about unless it bothers me. My pregnancy test was negative hahahahaha! (In case I was to have a biopsy of the fibroid, I had to pee in the cup.)
I came home, called a friend, and then opened my daily devotional that I'm supposed to read first thing in the morning. Let me tell you that it was like a cup of cold water thrown in my face! I laughed and then cried. I called the friend I had just spoken with and shared it with her. She was amazed! I was both humbled and strengthened. It began with, "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent," and ended with, "As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart."
The corresponding scripture is from Jeremiah 35:25, "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." I praise God today for this truth in my life.